Move Along

This week was just psychologically and mentally tiring for me. I had to spend my first CNY away from home and close to my Physiology books because this week was jam packed with tests...both oral and written ones. But I am glad for the small lunch and dinner gathering we managed to cram in between those many hours of studying. =)

I was pretty bumped (I am still...) over my performance for Anatomy Spotters. Anatomy Spotters is an examination that is made up of 25 stations. Each station has a particular specimen and a particular anatomical structure like a nerve, artery would be marked. We are required to identify the marked structure correctly and complete any subsequent questions (usually related to the marked structure) given at a particular station.

Overall, it does seem like a pretty easy examination. But the trick here is that we are only given ONE MINUTE per station. Hence, within one minute, one must be able to identify the marked structure correctly and answer the questions that follows. Here is where most of us screw ourselves up in this examination.

-Some of us may have spend the whole night cramming information but have forgotten to consolidate them, causing the inability to find the answer within such a short period of time. (It's like I know that structure, I've seen it before but I forgot its name or vice versa).
-Some of us spend 30 seconds panicking ourselves...leading to more confusion and lesser time to finish. (OMG OMG What is that??)
-Some of us overthink within the one minute given, coming out with answers that are totally unrelated to the specimen. (It is that artery, eh but why is it somewhere else now? Maybe it's a nerve)

ONE MINUTE makes this examination uber difficult. It is an examination that not only tests a person's knowledge, but our ability to stay calm and think on our feet. It is a test of speed and accuracy. It also drives us to not only be familiar with the knowledge we have, but to the point where it becomes instinctive to us. It is actually a very good training for a doctor because in this field, every second counts for the patient.

I fall under the 3rd category of the overthinker for Spotters. It truly makes me disappointed when I fail to perform well for Spotters. Unlike any other normal theory exams, performing poorly for this one affects me so bad that it makes me feel incompetent about myself. It makes me doubt my ability to believe that "nothing is impossible"

Oh, I am not having any doubts about my current career choice or anything, which could also be the underlying reason why am I so stressed out lately. I want to graduate as a good doctor and not just a person who is "middling/barely surviving medical school". Some people may think that at university level, "just pass, can already lah". But I don't want to have that mindset, to simply just give up and settle for less. It may seem kiasu or greedy to some people for wanting more than "just pass", but that is not really what I am trying to portray. I just think it's good to push ourselves to the limit and see the magic that takes place after that. And of course, I just really want to be a good doctor and am currently not planning to deviate anywhere from that path.

I have officially over-ranted. I still have another three theory exams and hopefully those turn out well. Then, afterthat..............HOME, HERE I COME!! =D=D=D=D