The Future is Near...

I have rather mixed feelings about the holidays coming to an end. I am glad that it is almost over so I can launch myself back into geek mode and get on with life. In fact, I almost disliked this holidays because I was basically at home rotting away, not knowing the day and date. But I would want a longer holiday because it is innate in almost everyone that relaxing is better than working. It is also because I haven't completed or accomplished anything useful this holidays (By useful I meant on the academic side of life since watching all episodes of House Season 1, 2 & 5, learning up Priscilla Ahn's songs on guitar or leveling up 10 levels in Restaurant City clearly does not fall under that category..=P)

I often tell myself to get myself out of the computer and do something more fruitful but I always NEVER leave in the end or I will end up on the couch flipping TV channels. Then at the end of the day, when I do my little reflections I realized that I wasted time. -.- I guess since the invention of my own overworked-overstressed space in my hostel life, I see home as a relaxation spot whether it is just over a weekend or over a time span of 1.5 months. Thus, I can hardly discipline myself at home although many may say that home is a much better place to study.

But I know I have to change that attitude of mine since the next semester is the FINAL semester in Intec. The semester of examinations that will be the stepping stone to medical school. I would even dare say that it is our lifeline to medical school. I have to admit that I was facing a bit of glitches during the third semester and I am not sure if things will fall into place like how I thought it would during the 1st or 2nd semester.

The truth is, I have been a little scared lately and am occasionally self-doubting because my confidence was shattered a few times during the 3rd semester. And the more truth is that I have been procrastinating a lot during the holidays because I was a bit scared and clueless on how to face the situation. I am scared...DAMN scared of CAL's twin-The Dark Lord of Edexcel.

They say 3rd semester was a "hell semester" and it was. But I think the fourth semester is the doctorlife-or-not-determining one.