Banana Pancakes

It has been way too long since I posted anything here. Medical school has been keeping me way too busy and pre-occupied. Life has gotten a little too routined here that there is nothing much to update. Plus, there is just way too much information squeeze into my mind in such little amount of time that there is hardly any space left to formulate a decent blogpost.

A lot of changes has occured since the last time I blogged. Firstly, I have shifted to a newly built hostel from the apartment that was 15 minutes walk away from my campus. It is a single room, hostel like environment. Frankly, I do not miss my old place because this new hostel is way more convenient for me as it is 10 minutes walk away from the lecture hall and 3 minutes away from the library. (In Manipal, sadly the library has become our only acceptable "social place"=P especially since most of us stay in single rooms now.)

In fact, it gets even better as the path to lecture halls, food court and library is a flat and a safer road. I no longer have to climb uphills, walk through lonely alleys or to worry about wrecklessly driven large trucks, as if they are about to swerve to the side of the road and hit a passenger. Hence, I have gotten myself a bicycle from a senior. I ride the bicycle to class everyday and there is nothing more satisfying and peaceful than that. Even with the monsoon bringing showers of rain every morning, I still cycle with lots of joy (and a raincoat of course=P)

The weather here has been pretty irritating. Today, I was in a superbly motivated mood to jog at least 3 rounds at the park near my hostel since I've just completed my last semester exams. I took a slow stroll with my friend to the park and just as I started to jog, the rain poured. I decided to turn back and mind you, the park is at least 20 minutes walk away from my hostel. The rain got even heavier and who brings an umbrella when they jog? So, I got caught off guard and I had to walk in the rain with the cold wind. We were practically drenched all the way back. The funniest part of it? The rain stopped as we were almost reaching our hostel...Tough luck no?

The monsoon, as much as it is a very efficient sleep inducer has also many problems. The environment is so humid that fungus began to take chance to grow on almost anything from food to shoes. Everyone (boys and girls included) carries an umbrella around as the rain can suddenly fall without any warning at all! It is common for us to arrive at the lecture with literally wet and cold feet, causing us to shiver during lectures. There is very little sunshine and the surroundings can sometimes get as cold as Genting Highlands! (And one would think India = A VERY HOT PLACE) I thought India was going to be hot all year round that I left all my sweatshirts back in Malaysia....=/

Other than that, pre-occupying myself with medicine is both an amazing but stressful experience. We were recently exposed to the basics of neuroanatomy and despite its volumnious syllabus, I definitely enjoy learning how intricately the different structures of the brain are interconnected. And who would have known that every little groove(sulci as we medic students call it) has its own name! It was challenging recognizing them at first especially on the live brain specimens, but I've gotten pretty use to it. Hence, the fundamental trick to Anatomy is familiarity. Oh, the live brain...it looks like tofu..seriously. =P

Life as a medical student is still stressful especially nearing exams. If you visit our library, you can't help but notice some really bizzare methods of studying adopted by medical students. Some stand while they are studying although comfy chairs are provided in the library while some study 24-7, even when they are walking to the toilet to ease themselves while some rehearse what they are studying, pacing back and forth like reading a mantra! =P Don't worry, very little Malaysians follow the "mantra-style" of studying. Most of us are still the conventional "sit-on-the-chair-and-study" kinda students.

But despite the strings of information that we need to store in our brain in a short period of time, I don't feel the heat as much as I did when I first arrived here. It could be maybe due to the balance I have found to manage my time more wisely or I have simply learned to tolerate higher amounts of stress than I used to. It feels more like the latter situation is occuring, because finding balance in time has never been my forte. =P

I've just completed my last semester examinations for today. I have three weeks of study break before the MAJOR FIRST YEAR EXAMINATIONS which will determine whether I'll pass my first year or not. I still can't believe first year of medical school is nearing its end. I think I'll miss Anatomy dissections once I go to second year. If I can pass my first year and head on to second year. I do feel pretty nervous about the upcoming major exams as it encompasses all that we have learned from day one of first year. Questions could come out from any region head to toe.

And what's next after my major exams? ........H-O-M-E!!!!! XD Simply can't wait for that. I have been having lack of sleep due to time constraints in completing my revision. I'll only probably regain my sleeping hours back in Malaysia. Home, you are my most major inspiration to study well and CLEAR FIRST YEAR! =D

It's Only Life

As I've often mentioned here, time really flies. My one-month holiday is nearing its end.

This holidays has been different for me. I'll usually wake up late, glue myself to the computer randomly browsing the Internet, be a couch potato, watching every new DVD I could find during the holiday season. Basically, I've always wasted my holidays doing nothing truly productive and regretting it after that.

But this time it was different. This time, I've finally managed to make a trip to Singapore for the very first time in 21 years of my life. The one thing I admired about this place was the efficiency of its public transport. Buses and MRTs came every 5 minutes without fail, unlike KL where a "RAPID" kl bus can sometimes take 1.5 hours to arrive. When I was back in KL one day waiting for the ktm for almost half an hour just to travel from KL Sentral to MidValley (only one station), I really couldn't help comparing the public transportation systems of both countries. But other than that, Singapore is very much like KL minus the good food. Haha, sorry no offense. =P

This holidays was also more family-centric. My grandmother is usually an active and lively person even at 80 years old. But recently, I've noticed something different about her. She slept more often than usual and was often tired even after walking for short distances. My mum decided that it was best that we took her to the hospital for a thorough check up. Admission took almost 5 hours to complete and my grandmother stayed in the hospital for 10 days.

For those 10 days, I went to and fro the hospital to visit her. She was not doing well initially and it got me really worried. I am really close to my grandmother because she took care of me when I was younger. My mum was also stressed out, to a point where she broke down and cried and I was helpless about it. For 21 years of my life, I am naive about the concept of death. Because of that, I had always lived in this silly bubble thinking that "Everybody lives forever and no one is going to leave. Not anytime soon". Yea, very silly no?

But this experience burst that bubble. It made me face reality that people do not live forever however much we want them too. That at any point of time, someone close to us may just leave us. The fact that we all have a time limit on this Earth. The problem is, we don't know when is it. We don't know when is our expiry date. So, how do we face this ordeal of not knowing it? By appreciating the moments with people when we are still alive. Good memories make us survive through the worrying ones.

Ok. Yea very morbid thoughts. My grandmother is doing better now, I just got a little carried away emotionally.

My aunts, uncles and cousins came over to visit my grandmother and I was glad to see them. We gathered for a family reunion dinner, which was a rare occassion for me. I had to cram myself with about 10 poeple in a 4-seater dining table, but it was the best reunion dinner so far in my life. It over-compensates for all the days of CNY that I was away from home. =)))

As Nic always says "Good food, good company, what more can I ask for?"

Move Along

This week was just psychologically and mentally tiring for me. I had to spend my first CNY away from home and close to my Physiology books because this week was jam packed with tests...both oral and written ones. But I am glad for the small lunch and dinner gathering we managed to cram in between those many hours of studying. =)

I was pretty bumped (I am still...) over my performance for Anatomy Spotters. Anatomy Spotters is an examination that is made up of 25 stations. Each station has a particular specimen and a particular anatomical structure like a nerve, artery would be marked. We are required to identify the marked structure correctly and complete any subsequent questions (usually related to the marked structure) given at a particular station.

Overall, it does seem like a pretty easy examination. But the trick here is that we are only given ONE MINUTE per station. Hence, within one minute, one must be able to identify the marked structure correctly and answer the questions that follows. Here is where most of us screw ourselves up in this examination.

-Some of us may have spend the whole night cramming information but have forgotten to consolidate them, causing the inability to find the answer within such a short period of time. (It's like I know that structure, I've seen it before but I forgot its name or vice versa).
-Some of us spend 30 seconds panicking ourselves...leading to more confusion and lesser time to finish. (OMG OMG What is that??)
-Some of us overthink within the one minute given, coming out with answers that are totally unrelated to the specimen. (It is that artery, eh but why is it somewhere else now? Maybe it's a nerve)

ONE MINUTE makes this examination uber difficult. It is an examination that not only tests a person's knowledge, but our ability to stay calm and think on our feet. It is a test of speed and accuracy. It also drives us to not only be familiar with the knowledge we have, but to the point where it becomes instinctive to us. It is actually a very good training for a doctor because in this field, every second counts for the patient.

I fall under the 3rd category of the overthinker for Spotters. It truly makes me disappointed when I fail to perform well for Spotters. Unlike any other normal theory exams, performing poorly for this one affects me so bad that it makes me feel incompetent about myself. It makes me doubt my ability to believe that "nothing is impossible"

Oh, I am not having any doubts about my current career choice or anything, which could also be the underlying reason why am I so stressed out lately. I want to graduate as a good doctor and not just a person who is "middling/barely surviving medical school". Some people may think that at university level, "just pass, can already lah". But I don't want to have that mindset, to simply just give up and settle for less. It may seem kiasu or greedy to some people for wanting more than "just pass", but that is not really what I am trying to portray. I just think it's good to push ourselves to the limit and see the magic that takes place after that. And of course, I just really want to be a good doctor and am currently not planning to deviate anywhere from that path.

I have officially over-ranted. I still have another three theory exams and hopefully those turn out well. Then, afterthat..............HOME, HERE I COME!! =D=D=D=D

Indian Summer

Indian summer, I need some return
So hard to get warm where it's so easy to get burned

Gavin de Graw speaks the real truth about the weather in India. One may think that the weather in Manipal would not be any different from that of Malaysia. After all, both places are located very near the equator. When I first arrived here, it was the monsoon season and rain could continuously pour for 3 days until the roads become flooded. At that moment, I begged hard for sunshine. I think I wished a little too much for it cause now the rain refuse to return. Rain has taken a break for a good ONE month! Back in Malaysia, I would become worried if there was no rain for a week! =P. Plus, during the daytime, I can actually feel the scorching heat of the Sun piercing and hurting my skin.

Well other than the crazy weather in Manipal, my life has been pretty much preoccupied with studying. I realized that has been often the answer to the most frequently asked question by my friends or family members: HOWS LIFE? It is really not because I am shutting off the conversation, but studying is really what constitutes 97% of my life now. Medical school here has an accentuated "Asian" culture where education is the utmost importance. Hence, very little attention is given to other non academical activities.

Moreover, the nearest decent mall and cinema is 1.5 hours drive away, so there is really no real place to "lepak" here. In fact, there are not even any benches in the campus environment for people to seat. One has to go all the way to the library just to read and this becomes a hassle especially during those short 30 minutes between PBL sessions. Hence, we kill time here by watching movies, TV series via our laptop or simply by day dreaming. =P Holidays like Christmas and New Year or any post-exam celebratory moments are also celebrated here with indulging in food due to the lack of cinema or malls. On New Year's Eve, Baskin Robbins was the most happening place in Manipal. If it weren't for the joys and fun from medicine, I would have seriously collapsed of BOREDOM. LOL.

This is also the main reason why the frequency of my blog posts have recently declined. There have been countless times when I flip open my laptop, ready to blog about my week when I realized that it was a rather dull and uneventful one. I was not going to repeatedly rant over the same routine I was having because even I would find that dull after some time.

So what has change and what was different about today? Today began with a Physiology test that has costs me 30% of my sleeping time. It went pretty well and there were lectures on Physiology afterthat. During the last moments of today's lecture, my mind was wandering off elsewhere because I was excited about the rest of the day.

I texted one of my senior right after my class was over. I impatiently waited for her reply while on the way to lunch. 15 minutes later, she texted back saying that I could come collect the "thing" from her. I walked there, my heart feeling elated and excited. I have waited close to 4 months for this and I knew that this was the outlet to all the boredom or stress moments I had.



XD XD XD XD XD XD XD!
It was really nice of her to have given it to me with no charge at all. The head of the guitar had a small crack but it didn't affect the position of the strings and it was still playable. I rush back home after indulging in bubble tea with my friend I spend the entire evening tweaking and playing the guitar! =P Talk about drawing Histology and studying Biochemistry. Nevertheless, guitar is the best distraction EVER. =P

The evening part of the day was even better as I had a mini shopping experience. It has been way too long since I did some serious shopping. Qi Ying told us about the sales in Levis and we all made a trip there. It was a pretty small Levis outlet but they had 50% off! I got myself a decent pair of jeans for only RM56! XD

Bubble tea, guitar and shopping really made my day. Today was fun and until now, I have no mood to return to studying. But I have wasted too much time. I need to get back to the real world of mountainous amounts of work. Sigh =.=

Love Today

Everybody's gonna love today

I have just had the most relaxing week ever since I landed here in Manipal. Block Two resumed on Monday and we barely had much to do or read. Oh, do not get me wrong. I am not complaining and in fact, I have been longing for this moment to come. The moment where I am allowed to daydream or to stare blankly into thin air without feeling guilty afterthat. A day where I need not multitask or stress myself over unfinished piles of work.

My wish was granted when Saturday and Monday was proclaimed a holiday due to Legenda. Legenda is a cultural event held by the Malaysian Students Association of India. It comprises of a Malaysian food festival held simultaneously with a concert that showcases the wide variety of cultures in Malaysia via dancing or singing performances. It was quite an experience and being a true Malaysian, I was instinctively drawn to the food sold at the festival. There was kuih batik, nasi dagang, rojak, fried wanton, ramlee burger, prawn mee and so much more mouth-watering Malaysian delicacies. As usual, I slightly overate.=P

Today started out great too. I woke up without the need of an alarm after 7 solid hours of sleep. I switch on my music playlist to listen to Priscilla Ahn's dreamy voice instead of the usual "I-need-to-wake up-AC/DC" tunes. I took a stroll to the library and enjoyed the morning sun beaming at my face. I felt refreshed and managed to read up quite a bit of Anatomy. The rest of the day was basically alternating between Anatomy and eating. I had a dose of Bavarian Chocolate and Blueberry Cheesecake ice cream from Baskin Robbins. Dinner was a chicken that tasted almost 100% like KFC. There was not only good food at the restaurant, but a VERY good view. =P

I was feeling nostalgic a few days ago as I stumbled upon an old Facebook photo album. It feels weird how we always thought we would stay together at one place but instead all of us went on a totally different pathway at different corners of the world. I do miss home and my friends but I am glad that recent gleeful events have taken my mind of from missing them. . .

And I miss my guitar! =/

The Lazy Song

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything
Nothing at all! XD

I have finally completed my first block exams yesterday, which is a pretty big thing since it accounts for 7-8% of my first year. I am truly thankful that today was a holiday because I badly needed a break and unlike Malaysia, holidays here are hard to come by. Holidays here are almost equivalent to GOLD. (Believe me, they almost wanted to start the second half of the semester today..O.O)

I think everybody here was so relieve that examinations were over although we've really only been here for less than three months. Life here is VERY HECTIC and as you've noticed from the reduced frequency of me blogging. The adrenaline rush and the stress from studying medicine can really make or break someone.

There is really no room for procrastination in medicine because even if you did study consistently, it is tough to completely memorise everything in depth due to the volatility of the information. For example, one may be able to remember the entire muscles of the sole and their respective attachments (there are about 20 different muscle) but may face difficulty in recalling all of them by 1-2 days time!

In fact, medical course trains one to think that procrastination is totally not worth it because it can really drive people mad nearing examinations. There are times when I even felt guilty for watching one 45 minute episode of Glee just to destress. We have even been mugging so much that we never even realized the 2010 Commonwealth Games came and was over! (Notice the irony?=P)

The long hours of lectures have also forced me to change my lifestyle. I had to learn multitasking (studying while munching a Subway sandwich), have sleepless nights as I burn the midnight oil studying and tried to absorb as much as possible from my 8am to 5pm lectures so that I need not revise so many times. It didn't help that I missed one week of lectures because it felt like I have miss a whole month's worth of workload! Time became more and more precious to me that I sometimes take the extra 5 minutes between each class to study up things I have missed out during my one week of absence. I would rather get food via delivery than to go out and eat as a pretext of "not wanting to waste time".

Honestly, I did nerd out too much until I could feel my social life slowly degrading. . .Plus, being an Asian-oriented medical school, there is really very little de-stressing outlets here. Social activities are scarce as the university feels that its students should place ultimate focus on their education (totally the Asian style). Moreover, people are so busy coping with medicine that we just shut ourselves in our rooms to continue revision after lectures. Or to sleep since our brains are too saturated =P

The only thing that still keeps me hanging on was the beauty of the subjects itself. Although they are tough to memorize, I am completely immersed into them. I can finally feel the complete joy of learning despite the stress and there is not a subject that I particularly hate, unlike in high school. I may be overwhelmed by them (like Anatomy), but I still feel happy poking and finding for muscles or nerves or vessels on the cadaver during every dissection period.

I have to admit that I may have mismanaged my method of studying or my time during this first three months. The "personal-detachment-alternate-dimension" state was also one of the issues that affected my studies. I messed up my Anatomy first block exams. However, I am feeling optimistic about block 2 and this time, I hope I will be better prepared.

But today, I REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING. =P

Hot and Cold

It started with an Anopheles mosquito flying in the vicinity of Manipal. An innocent freshie who has been in Manipal for barely a month passed by. The mosquito found its target and landed on the freshie to do its job as a transporter of plasmodium. The freshie was unaware about what happened...

The "lucky" freshie turned out to be me. The intertwining fates of the mosquito and me did not turn out well at all. I was down with fever and I initially dismissed it as a normal fever. Moreover, I did admit that I overworked myself trying to cope with Anatomy at that time. So, I thought it was merely due to the lack of sleep. But the situation became worse when I started to have continuous chills at random moments of the day. But again, I thought that my body temperature shot up too high until it causes chills.

I had a pseudo-recovery period on Saturday morning. I woke up feeling rejuvenated and I was almost convinced that it was the heavy workload that led to my fever. However, the chills came back when it was blazing hot outside. It was that moment when I knew something was VERY wrong about me. I got Qi Ying to accompany me to the hospital and we waited for a good 2 hours before they did a blood test on me.

The results came back the next morning, confirming that I had malaria p. vivax. My heart sank because I know that this is not a trifling matter...well at least not in Malaysia. Initially, I was admitted to a semi-private room and they could not start treatment because further tests needed to be done. I was nervous because this was the first time I have ever been admitted in a hospital and this is one of the "first-timers" one would rather experience in their home country.

Much to my relief, I was shifted to a private room the same evening I was admitted. It was a little uncomfortable sharing room with a total stranger and the windows were WIDE open in the semi-private room. Come on, imagine if another mosquito flew in and bit me again!

The first night was a hellish one as I had chills and instantaneously followed by a high fever. I had no appetite to eat at all. The following nights were not really great too as my blood pressure fell until I needed to be hooked to an IV fluid. But I am truly lucky to have the most amazing bunch of friends supporting and helping me throughout the whole stay in the hospital. Thanks guys. ;)

The only plus point about being stuck in the hospital was its television. I was so TV-deprived (We're so busy that we did not even have the time to look at the TV packages available here!), I did not mind watching the same episode of How I Met Your Mother and The Simpson 3-4 times!

But I really miss going to lectures and my "personal detachment" problem came back while I was recovering in the hospital. "Personal detachment" problem was something I faced when I initially came here. It is a problem where one is in disbelief that he or she is somewhere doing something. The feeling of disbelief is so strong that I felt like I was watching someone else's life pass by when it was really actually my own life passing by. It is really a complicated thing and it disappears when I get accustomed to this place. But the stay in the hospital brought back those feelings and now I have to learn to quell them again. T.T

I was discharged yesterday and I began attending lectures today. I was "warmly" welcomed with an Anatomy class test, which I totally botched because I almost fail it. =.= Sigh, I really need to conduct a post-mortem on Anatomy...I am really not reading the subject correctly. I am so tempted to google "How to study Anatomy" just for my own satisfaction. =P

"Stumble and fall...is the heart of it all...so when you fall down...just try again" =))